Coming Events
- A module on Ministry to Marriage is being offered as part of the Developing Discipleship Course
Leaders: Canon Hugh and Mrs Ruth Atherstone
5 two-hour sessions, with an optional 6th session
Venue: To be negotiated with those wanting to do this module
Cost: No charge for Sessions 1-5
Enquiries and Enrolment Contact:
Wendy Greenan 01273 421021 wendy.greenan@diochi.org.uk
Deaneries or parishes wishing to use this course to train leadership may contact Hugh and Ruth directly on 893508. The course will be adapted accordingly and will not require written homework tasks.
The aim of this module is to develop vision and skills in providing marriage ministry in the local parish and would be suitable for both individuals and couples, lay or clergy:
The course will cover two main areas over five sessions: marriage preparation and marriage enrichment.
The marriage preparation part of the course will include:
- an understanding of the place of marriage in society today and the changes in patterns of relationships
- a thorough overview of marriage preparation courses available, including material for those entering step family relationships
training in adapting such resources to individual parish circumstances
- an opportunity to design a marriage preparation session
The marriage enrichment part of the course will include:
- a rationale for encouraging ongoing enriching of marriages an exploration of ways in which a church may focus on marriage and encourage couples to continue enriching their marriages a thorough overview of the resources available for marriage enrichment
- training in adapting such resources to individual parish circumstances
- an exploration of useful topics to explore in enriching marriages
Before and after the course, participants will be asked to
discuss their attendance on this course with their clergy, with a view to using in their parish what they have learned. (See below about registration.)
Ministry to Marriages: Session Six (Optional)
This is an optional session on marriage mentoring, which is primarily relevant to married couples, but may be undertaken as an individual. It is based on using the FOCCUS marriage inventory (See in italics below for further information about FOCCUS), with the option of becoming a FOCCUS Practitioner.
If you think you would like to become a FOCCUS facilitator because you are involved in supporting couples as a priest, or interested lay person, you may like to take this optional extra session in the course. You will be introduced to FOCCUS and trained to mentor couples who use FOCCUS. The training does not make you a trained counsellor. It simply enables you to mentor couples who are exploring their relationship. Any difficulties in their relationship would need to be referred to trained professionals. Completion of the course enables you to mentor couples, but if you wish to register as a facilitator afterwards, there is a cost involved, and this should be discussed with Hugh and Ruth Atherstone.
To learn more about FOCCUS go to the Resources section on marriage preparation.
During the course, participants will be asked to:
- do some web-based research on marriage and marriage preparation resources and write an account of which resources would be most useful in their local situation and why
- design one session of marriage preparation
- read at least three books from a list of recommended reading. Participants are responsible for obtaining their own books although the group leaders can give advice on how to obtain the following:
Ash: Married for God £7.59
Benson: Mentoring Marriages £6.39 (Necessary for the optional mentoring course)
Chapman: The Five Love Languages £6.49
Harley: Love Busters £8.88
Harley: His Needs Her Needs £5.99
Janssen: The Marriage Masterpiece £8.22
Lee: The Marriage Book £4.79 (Highly recommended)
Parsons: Loving Against the Odds £5.99
Vibert: The Diamond Marriage £5.76
- design promotional materials on marriage for their church, in the light of what they have learned
- those undertaking the course to contribute to the Bishop’s Certificate will also be asked to undertake a piece of written reflective work.
Please note: Participants in this module need to be nominated by the priest, pastor or minister of their congregation. Anyone who wishes to apply needs to contact the department to request a form for completion, by the nominating minister. It can also be downloaded from http://aded.diochi.org.uk
What is FOCCUS and how does the process work?
FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study) is a diagnostic inventory. It is designed for couples considering committing themselves to a long-term relationship. It is now regularly used as part of the Holy Trinity Brompton Marriage Preparation course, where couples who have some years of marriage experience are trained to mentor engaged couples through their marriage preparation process.
First of all individuals, intending a commitment to a long-term relationship, respond separately to 156 FOCCUS statements on the Internet and the couple subsequently discuss between themselves what they think and feel about each topic.
The second stage occurs with the help of a mentor couple (or in some cases an individual mentor), who use a report, based on the couple’s responses. When a couple take FOCCUS, they choose a mentor from a list on the web and make an arrangement to meet a week or two after they have completed the inventory, and meanwhile the mentor is sent a copy of their report. The mentor(s) work with the couple, looking at patterns in the responses, discussing issues, and assisting them to resolve problems, usually in conjunction with some exercises.
Further information can be found at www.foccus.org.uk/
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